There was an article in our local paper recently, 'Peace out of Pain', that hit very close to home for me. A couple were reaching out to someone who had lost someone very dear to them and they wanted to do something about it. Like myself, they had lost a child in May, and like myself they had waiting at home their precious two year old who was never to meet her sister.
Katelin was stillborn, ten days late. I was due to be induced that morning. Everything was prepared at home for her arrival and her big sister awaited her entrance with much expectation. But that was never to be.
There was instant alarm as soon as I was hooked up to the monitor and no heartbeat could be found. 'Maybe it's faulty,' and the nurse quickly excused herself, leaving myself and my husband alone.
'Read me from His word,' I whispered. And from out of his pocket he pulled a Bible opening it to John14:1-2.
“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.”
God was preparing us as we braced ourselves for what was to come. The rest is a big flurry as we were raced down for a sonogram for labor had begun. This was my first natural birth. It felt so surreal to deliver my baby who did not cry.
We held her and even prayed that God would raise her from the dead. I wanted her back, please. But we let her go that day..
'I go to prepare a place for her.. If it were not so, would I have told you.'
It was a timely word that took root in us. We gave Him our treasure.
It has been 29 yrs ago now, Memorial Day, USA time when my ‘little darling’ was taken up into a stronger one’s arms to rest in heavenly peace.
I birthed not only a child that day but a poem and I want to bless you from out of that place where I've walked. Through it all I have found peace that bends the knee to the goodness of God and declares of his goodness, ‘no wasted pain.’
for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Matthew 6:21
Our little darlin’, Katelin Elaine
how God must love you so
to take you home to be with him
before we could watch you grow.
We’ll wonder about how tall you’d be
and the color of your hair,
would you have your mom’s complexion
or would your skin be fair?
To hear your cry in childbirth
would have been a dream come true
but the silence of our little one
just broke our heart in two.
But the pain we felt could not remain
for you see that in a dream,
we saw you in the arms of one
who rules and reigns supreme.
And He is one whom we have placed
our plans our hopes our lives,
so we trust Him now with the one we love,
Sweet Katelin Elaine, goodbye
I bless you with His peace that surpasses all understanding. I bless you with a falling into His arms because He knows of your pain. I bless you with the knowledge that He holds all things we give over to Him and with that very thing we bond with Him.
I bless you as we proclaim together, 'God's word IS at work’ and we believe Him for the rest we need until that which is invisible reveals itself.
This is a part of my story and perhaps yours as well and this is my blessing for you;
Be blessed in the absolute certainty that God has made a way through. I bless you the spirit to lead the procession of soul and body in grief through sorrow yet boldly proclaiming the truth over your life. God has a plan!
Be blessed with great anticipation and hope, immersing yourself in the spiritual blessings that the Lord has secured for you who earnestly wait for Him.
Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him. Isaiah 64:4
I bless you in the name of my God who makes a way where there is no way.
revised, May 2019
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